What Does God Say About Beauty?

My story with beauty and health

I will Praise Thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well (Psalm 139:14)

Health and beauty are mysterious things. We all want to be beautiful. We have this image of that stunning woman who turns heads as she walks into a room. Any room. She is aware of it, yet blissfully unaware in the most humble way. When she smiles, everyone around her instantly feels happier. She has effortlessly beautiful hair, skin, and charm.

That girl doesn’t exist.

That’s the hardest part for me to wrap my mind around because I can see her so vividly in my mind. The women around me who are so beautiful… are often so insecure. Why? Why do we struggle to see ourselves as beautiful? Why are other women our biggest supporters or our worst critics? Petty women are out there, so quick to point out their opinion of you. I suppose this comes from their own insecurity, because if they loved themselves then they would not search for flaws in others. Why would their opinion matter more than that of a Godly women who is free with her compliments? Yet, criticism seems to stick in our minds much longer than praise.

(1 Peter 3:3-4) Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

What does inner beauty look like? You see it on some women – those who are truly happy. Personally, I think that women who are beautiful on the inside are those who are content. They don’t worry or try to control. They freely help others, but they don’t need to be needed for self-worth. They have a gentle and quiet spirit. How do you get one of those? I don’t have that answer, but I think it starts with a prayer life. Connecting with God in quiet moments, learning how you talk with Him and better yet, how to listen.

So God created man in His own image (Genesis 1:27)

I don’t think it is a coincidence that we don’t know what God looks like, and yet He created us in His image. I think He was trying to tell us something. Perhaps many things, but if God highly values a quiet and gently spirit and He created us in His image, maybe this is why our physical beauty fades over time and our wisdom increases (or at least it should).

Song of Songs 4:7 – You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you

My own relationship with beauty goes back to my childhood, as it does for most women I imagine. As a child, I don’t recall thinking about what I looked like but I do remember people often commenting on how small I was. I liked being small. When I was in middle school, it seemed like I woke up one morning and I wasn’t small anymore. My clothes didn’t fit right and I had no idea what to do about it. My skin broke out and my hair was greasy all the time. I remember feeling dirty throughout most of high school. I saw girls around me who were pretty, but I just wasn’t like them. I remember thinking “if I just looked like her…”. Side note ** Mothers, PLEASE show your teenage daughters how to do makeup properly and take care of their hair. Save them from their grunge phase and maybe they won’t burn all of their high school photos like I did** Also in high school, I thought about my weight constantly. I remember thinking I was fat all. the. time. Fast forward to around age 25, I found a picture of myself at Senior prom. I was shocked at how skinny I was. I wished that I could go talk to that 17 year old and tell her that she was weirdly thin (although I know that my 17 year old self would’ve just felt fatter… go figure).

“Your heart became proud because of your beauty, and you corrupted your wisdom because of your splendor” (Ezekiel 28:17)

Over the years, I’ve learned how to eat for my body. Yes, those demons still try to rise up when I know I haven’t been eating well, but I have a more mature mind now. I know that life is short and long at the same time. That I can eat the burger and fries once and it won’t have an effect on me because my habits are good. Having said that though, if I’m trying to fit into those jeans, forgoing the ice cream will set me just a little bit closer. Choices. Adult choices. I’ve also learned how to eat to support the way I work out, after feeling constantly un-well in my early twenties. Eating like a bird meets discovering the gym, equals years of exhaustion. Years of taking Motrin almost every day because my joints hurt. Years of feeling tired all the time, and years of not quite seeing what I was looking for in the gym. I finally learned a healthy respect for carbohydrates. They are not the fat demon I once thought they were. I learned that chia seeds and water does not count as a meal. I learned that saving money is great, but challenging myself to a week of groceries for less than $30 doesn’t set me up well.

Fast forward a little more. I had more money and a more stable life. I began to think about the professional image that I wanted to portray. I had grown from the insecure high-schooler, from the scrappy 24/7 “I don’t need your help” young adult, to a professional young woman. I was a teacher, I had a car that worked, I had a nice studio apartment. I had worked really hard to build a life for myself and confidence came with that. Now, I wanted to reflect it on the outside. I read A LOT about how to take care of my skin and hair. I decided to invest in the more expensive products, thinking that if I spent more money on taking care of my skin, I’d spend less time and money on makeup. I read about the best ingredients, took the time to invest in myself.

I also underwent an Invisalign treatment to straighten out my biggest insecurity. I hated my teeth. This caused some turmoil for me though. I wondered how much you could change and how much God expected you to love in yourself. Is it okay to get a nose job? Is it okay to get a nose job if your nose is huge and you hate it, or if it’s been broken a few times? What about a breast augmentation, or liposuction? Is it okay to change something, like straightening teeth, but adding or taking away isn’t? I came to the conclusion that your conscience is what determines these things. God created you a certain way, and your beauty comes from within. If you look in the mirror and see where an improvement could be made to your physical appearance, I see that as equivalent to working out or buying that really cute dress. You can go to the gym too much, and you can buy too many cute dresses, but a thing that brings you happiness is a good thing in moderation. Don’t look in the mirror for things to fix, but if something bothers you and you have a means to change it, where is the harm in changing it? There is a difference between that and straight vanity. My crooked teeth bugged me for as long as I can remember. I noticed them in every picture. For the first time in my life, I had the financial means to change it and I have been happier with my smile ever since.

I grew up in a family that was generally well. My parents took me to the doctor if they determined that I needed to go, but seeing a doctor was kept for things that wouldn’t go away on their own. Mild ailments or things that bothered you were just things to deal with. I kept this mentality when I got my own insurance. Insurance is confusing, and bills can add up quickly, so I did my best to stay away. After being married for almost a year, I confessed to my husband that I had dealt with the same constant symptoms for years. Back to high school, off and on but steadily increasing over the years. I felt like I carried balloons filled with rocks in my belly more days than not. Of course, I had read a lot and tried to fix it at home; some things helped but my symptoms always came back. I never talked about it. My husband encouraged me to see a GI specialist. I learned that this is very common, especially in women. After a few months of diagnostics, I found out that I have a condition that a simple medication can fix. Fix symptoms that I’ve just dealt with for more than ten years. My point is, some things are just minor ailments that you have to deal with, but listen to your body. If something isn’t working right, go to the doctor. It is worth feeling the right way. If you have ever lived life not feeling quite right all the time, just managing the best you can, then you know what I mean.

“I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, ¹⁰ but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” (1 Timothy 2:9-10)

I’ve noticed that our society is getting more and more provocative over time. If you watch music videos from the 90’s and early 2000’s and compare them to now, you’ll see female artists singing, dancing, and showing a little skin. You’ll see male artists have women dancing in their videos, usually dressed up in a fancy way. If you watch music videos released over the last 5 years, you’ll find something very different. You’ll see female artists almost or completely naked, and the backup dancers for music videos are the same. Not much is left up the imagination. This is cheap. Women were created to be valuable, and we have cheapened ourselves over time by conducting ourselves in a more provocative way. This is not beautiful and certainly doesn’t command respect from a man. Men value things that they have to work for. If you show it all right up front, well he can find that anywhere. What makes you special? Likewise, if you’re captivating to a man, he will want to pursue you. It is in his DNA. He likes the hunt. This is not at all to say that you should be modest or beautiful in order to get attention from a man. This is to make an argument for self respect. Do you feel good about yourself when you are ogled by strangers on the street? When you have to keep adjusting your dress because it’s a little too tight? Be honest, are you attracted to the easy thing? Does it command your respect?

Lessons Learned from a Decade

1. Take the time to read about things that are good for your skin and hair. It is better to purchase care products than to cover up with makeup.
2. Spend your money maintaining yourself. Buy good food, buy products your skin and hair want. That is the girl who is effortlessly beautiful.
3. The doctor is there for a reason. If you are not healthy and you have tried to get healthy, go to a professional.
4. Food is not your enemy! If you battle with food, you are sure to miss out on many great memories, for the sake of what?
5. God gave you one body. He can change it or take it away in an instant. Treat it like the gift that it is.
6. Take time to find and invest in your style. Air on the side of modesty. Ask yourself who you want (and don’t want) attention from.